mandy inchaustegui

After reading (and completely enjoying) Steven Pressfield’s The War of Art, I was curious as to what his novels were like. He happened to have recently written one on Alexander the Great, which sparked my interest, having a son who is named Alexander. We intentionally gave him that name, meaning “Defender of Mankind,” always wanting him to know that greatness lies in defending, protecting and serving humanity. I thought a character study might lead to some important leadership and life lessons. I was not disappointed.

Even though the novel was definitely fictional, there was a lot of truth written of Alexander’s character and leadership. From a very young age, the book speaks of Alexander feeling this force of destiny within him that was stronger than anything else in his life. He had to do what he did. He had to conquer. He had to lead. He had to fight. It was as if this force in him was driving him forward, as if he had no choice but to follow and act.

I can totally relate to feeling this strong sense of destiny and calling on my life. It is what compels me to do things that others might see as crazy. I don’t know how to describe this force within me at times but it gives me strength, determination and drive. I have listened to it and followed for a lot of my life. I don’t want to miss my greatness…my calling…my destiny.

After he conquered Persia, there was a pause. He had led well, his men had fought hard and they had won. Yet morale was waning. His advisors took the risk to share what was going on with the men. They hadn’t seen their families in 7 years and they were ready to go home. Yet Alexander still had this force within him, driving him and pressing him forward. He would not quit until he had conquered the world, finishing the task.

At this point, Pressfield has a sage from India come to meet with Alexander.

“True greatness,” he said, “is when you can say, ‘I have conquered my need to conquer the world.’” When you can let go, giving it all up, knowing who you are, not being controlled by any force, even your destiny. Living free, compelled by wisdom and love. This didn’t mean for Alexander to quit. The sage was wisely pressing into the “why” behind the drive and passion.

This really struck me. “I have conquered my need to conquer the world.” It is one thing for me to get to the point of having that strong vision living what I believe is God’s calling and mission on my life. A very important place to get to! Yet, I feel like there is a next stage where I get over myself, my vision and my need to “conquer” whatever it is that I feel the need to do. I still want to do great things and live a great life. And I want to do it in freedom, not being controlled by anything else but wisdom and love. It is not about my need to “conquer” anything. It is about living humbly and courageously. This is the strength I want to choose to fuel my vision, passion and destiny.

“I have conquered my need to conquer the world.”

Now that the kids are getting a little older, I’m really working on creating more traditions for our family. I try to be really intentional about it because if it’s going to be something that we do year after year, it better be good. I don’t want to get stuck with some “tradition” I hate in a few years or that is a huge amount of work for me. They need to be simple, meaningful and enjoyable. Gradually, we are getting some!

Our one main Christmas tradition happens on Christmas morning. Before we start opening gifts, we sit down and eat breakfast together. While we eat, we open two presents from God. In one, is the baby Jesus from our nativity scene. In the other, is a cross that’s made from wood from Bethlehem. Each of the boys opens one of the gifts and we talk about the gift of Jesus and His gift of grace.

Then, we each give a gift that we’ve prepared ahead of time that we want to give to Jesus that next year. The youngest goes first. This is the Inchaustegui list for Christmas 2011!

Elijah: a ball. “Because Jesus loves me and wants to play with me.”

Xander: a drawing representing his imagination. “Because He gave it to me so I want to give it back to Him.”

Anthony: a Hulk action figure. “I give Jesus my anger and tendency to lose my temper.”

Me: a paper symbolizing my writing. “I give Jesus my time, ideas and focus to write and to risk sharing it with others.”

I love talking about what each of us are giving Jesus and why. I am always inspired by what my kids choose. Elijah reminded me that Jesus loves me and wants to play more with me, too. Xander reminded me that He also gave me an imagination for me to create things of beauty and truth. We learn about each other and are able to support and encourage each other in the bringing of our gifts to the One whose birth we are celebrating.

I’m not the best at saving stuff or writing things down. (Hopefully, my kids won’t think they’ve been neglected because they don’t have baby books.) But I am saving our cards and gifts to Jesus through the years, packed away with our Christmas decorations. This is one tradition I think we want to keep!